...
An Englishman asked an Irishman for directions to somewhere.
The Irishman replied, "If I was going there, I wouldn't start from here".
:)
Reminds me of another Irishman...
Visitor: "Have you lived here your entire life?"
Irishman: "No, I live down the lane a bit."
Visitor: "Your whole life?"
Irishman: "Well, not yet."
:-)